haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
