I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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