Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
