she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
