My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
