): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
