I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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