I must be too annoying 4 u.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
