White coat. Heels.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize