you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
