Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
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I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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