Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
