I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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