so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize