plz talk dirty to me
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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