I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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