What a fucking waste of an outfit
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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