it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
