He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
