You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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