do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
