that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
