it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
