Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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