I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
