Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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