We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
