Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
