Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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