So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
