the new term for farting is butt boxing.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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