i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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