she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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