I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
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fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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