I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize