1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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