Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
