And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
