There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
