i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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