I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
this just has baby written all over it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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