I CAN MOONWALK!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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