2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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