Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
