The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
