He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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