Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
