I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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