I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize