He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
