He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I DEMAND FORESKIN
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
