Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
