I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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