i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
