I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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