It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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