I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
