this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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