Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
