Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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