Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
