I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
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I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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