Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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