He felt like a one man threesome
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
