before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize