He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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