I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize