Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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