Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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