i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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