google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
