The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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