I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
