Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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