so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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