drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
